Poop. Everyone does it, but nobody talks about it. Or at least, not often. Even so, there are times you might need or want to speak about poop, whether at the doctor or joking with friends. But which term should you use?
1. うんこ (Unko): Poop, Feces
うんこ (unko) means “poop.” You can use うんこ (unko) for casual conversation. In fact, it’s probably the term you’ll hear most often. Compared to the other items below, うんこ (unko) is technically considered a more childish way of saying “poop.”
In Japanese, -こ (-ko) is a suffix commonly seen in children’s talk or when sounding cute, such as when using わんこ(wanko) to say “doggy.” However, unko is commonly used by adults as well.
Examples:
1. 昨日うんこしたら変な色だったから写メを撮ったけど、見る？
(Kinō unko shitara hen na iro datta kara shame o totta kedo, miru?)
I went poop the other day, and it was a weird color, so I took a pic. Wanna see?
2. やべー、うんこしてぇ。
(Yabē, unko shitē.)
Oh boy, I need to poop. (colloquial language)
2. うんち (Unchi): Poop, Doo-Doo
Another term for poop is うんち (unchi), which is like saying “doo-doo” or “poopie.” Even though it sounds a little childish, both children and adults use this term.
Example:
お母さん！うんち出た！
(Okāsan! Unchi deta!)
Mom! I did it! (I pooped!)
3. 便 (Ben)、大便 (Daiben): Feces, Stool
One of the meanings for 便 (ben) is poop, but it’s also used extensively in other unrelated words, such as 便利 (benri), meaning “convenient.” More often, 便 (ben) is used in junction with other characters to express various poop-related terms.
便所 (benjo) is a slightly crass word for “outhouse” or “toilet.” 大便 (daiben) is one way to specify “feces” or “stool,” while 小便 (shōben/ shonben) means “urine.” “Shonben” is the crude way to say this term, which is similar to “piss” in English.
便 (ben) and 大便 (daiben) are neutral language, and you might hear them used more in educational or medical settings.
Fun Fact: 快便 (kaiben), composed of the characters for “pleasure or enjoyment” and “feces,” means “a healthy bowel movement.”
Examples:
1. 便所行ってくる。
(Benjo itte kuru.)
I’m gonna go/going to the bathroom. (informal masculine language)
2. 便が出やすくなる薬です。
(Ben ga deyasuku naru kusuri desu.)
This is medicine to help you poop.
3. 車で小便を漏らしたと思ったら大便だった。
(Kuruma de shōben o morashita to omottara daiben datta.)
I thought I peed my pants in the car, but it turned out it was poop.
4. 糞 (Fun): Animal Feces
Not to be deceived by the English spelling, 糞 (fun), pronounced “foon,” is another way of saying poop.
Specifically, 糞 (fun) is what you would say to describe animal poop.
Example:
1. 公園で犬の糞を放置した人を見かけたよ。
(Kōen de inu no fun o hōchi shita hito o mikaketa yo.)
I saw someone ignore their dog’s poop at the park.
2. たしか…魚のフンで出来た、島の話だった。
(Tashika … sakana no fun de dekita, shima no hanashi datta.)
I’m pretty sure it was a story about an island made from a fish’s poop.
5. 糞、クソ (Kuso): Shit
Another reading for 糞 (fun) is 糞 (kuso). Also written in plain katakana or hiragana, this is a rather rude way of saying “poop.” Like English, 糞 (kuso) is commonly used as a swear word+ or exclamation of frustration, comparable to “shit!”
In the Kansai area, it’s sometimes called 糞 (baba.)
Example:
1. クソ！右目の呪いがまた暴れてやがるぜ！
(Kuso! Migi me no noroi ga mata abarete yagaru ze!)
Shit! The curse I have in my right eye is acting up again!
2. 早く糞して寝ろ。
(Hayaku kuso shite nero.)
Hurry up, take a shit and go to sleep.
3. くそ！もう少しだったのに！
(Kuso! Mō sukoshi datta no ni!)
Damn! I almost had it!
6. 糞便 (Funben)、人糞 (Jinpun): Feces
糞便 (funben) and 人糞 (jinpun) are both technical terms for feces, the former for all excrement as a whole and the latter specifically for human feces.
Examples:
1. 糞便学は世界を救う！
(Funbengaku wa sekai o sukuu!)
Scatology will save the world!
2. 彼女は糞便の中でも特に人糞の研究に熱心だ。
(Kanojo wa funben no naka demo toku ni jinpun no kenkyū ni nesshin da.)
Among all fecal matter, she is especially passionate about the study of human feces.
7. 排泄物 (Haisetsubutsu), 排出物 (Haishutsubutsu): Excrement
While technically not constrained to just poop, 排泄物 (haisetsubutsu) and 排出物 (haishutsubutsu) both mean “discharge” or “excrement” and often refer specifically to bowel excreta. Like the terms in #5 above, these terms are also very technical and could be found in scientific journals or textbooks.
Example:
1. 体を害する物は排泄物として体内から排除される。
(Karada o gai suru mono wa haisetsubutsu toshite tainai kara haijo sareru.)
Things that are bad for your health are removed from your body as excrement.
2. 「排出物」とか、格好つけないで不通に「うんこ」と言え！
(“Haishutsubutsu” toka, kakkō tsukenaide futsū ni “unko” to ie!)
Stop putting on airs by saying “excreta” and say “poop” like normal people!
Conclusion
As you can see, poop is as simplistic as it first appears, and this article doesn’t even go into detail about pee or other words for going to the bathroom. Still, when speaking about poop, うんこ (unko) will suffice for almost all occasions.
Happy pooping. May your next movement be a 快便 (kaiben!)
